London-town part 2/3

THE TRIP

I loved loved loved London. For many reasons:

1) Family
2) Diversity
3) The sights
4) WiFi
5)[maybe the most important] West End/Oxford Circus =)

London was an interesting experience for me...because for the most part (minus a day or two) I kind of navigated the city solo. It was pretty cool experiencing the city on my own and doing for the most part 100% what I wanted to do. My cousin and aunt basically mapped out which buses and everything to take for me which was helpful because I'm HORRIBLE with directions. I loved the mix of the sights and history with it being very much a modern city...its something that not that many cities can honestly claim.

My best stories are from my Tube [subway in london ] experience.

1) This middle aged thin man...with a crusty/dry mouth, slightly frumpy clothing attire...thought it was a GREAT idea to fall asleep at the door for the tube...as in he was sleeping SO HARD that he was literally FALLING into the door....goes down as an Embarrassing Moment...Waking up to the door opening and almost falling out...

HAHAHAHAHA...and I just sat there KNOWING i shouldn't laugh as hard as I was...but KNOWING that he also asked for a big laugh, especially when there were open seats...smh...but after that he made the right choice and sat his limp self down.

2) I've decided that MOST british white people are awkward. There was a couple on the bus just acting WEIRD they had the kind of awkward interaction...like they didn't know what to do with one another. They sat so uncomfortably...that i started to feel like maybe I should like place the girls hand in the man's or something...they were just sooo Bridget Jones...and I have consequently decided that B.J. wasn't an exaggeration but rather a true representation of white English people. I saw another, young couple, who were equally as awkward but this girl had an awkwardly horrible...nappy weave.

It looked like the hair the dollar tree barbies have...after the child has played with it for about a month and tried to add hair products...only to realize that its the Dollar Tree's version...you can't do that much to it...

Poor Girl.

3) I sat across from a REAL LIFE CELEBRITY!! Okay...well kind of. I sat across from London's version of Blondie from flavor of love. She was a little darker than me, with Bright red lipstick, clothes with tons of stretch, 3 inch nails, oh lawdy....then the HAIR... it went to....oh about....4 inches above her butt. It looked like the weave from the girl above...but as though it had been Dyed/bleached blond.

NO, not like she bought the cheap weave in blond...but rather she bought the black dollar tree weave and in an attempt to distract from the matted nappy and tangled weave, she would make the tracks Versatile and add some equally cheap blond hair dye that she picked up at the dollar tree with the weave.

Andddd theeen the woman had the Nerve to talk for 10 MINUTES about this first date she went on, and how she wasn't sure if the guy would ask her out again...although she felt that he was REALLLYYYY into her.

Yeah. FreakinG. Right.

BUT it made for an entertaining tube ride...so do whatchyou do...

4) Whoever designed subways was Brilliant. I never really took the time to appreciate it until this trip. One day when I was on the tube I saw a woman, JUST making the morbidly obese category, scratching her armpits, with a not so pleasant odor, get on the tube and place her butt-cheeks on opposite sides of a pole on the subway. NOW i wasn't tryin to be in ole girls business...BUT...she put it ALLL out there...so whether anyone wanted to or not...EVERYONE was in her business.

As I thought of How disgusting it all was and thankful that I'd remembered my hand sanitizer...ANOTHER man probably a little over the morbidly obese classification entirely too red, with slightly unintentionally browned jeans, a "tropical" shirt, and a bit toooo stale with sweat came and stood RIGHT NEXT to wear I was sitting. It was like slow motion as he exhaled loudly and began to lean back...and ALL of a sudden this big boom sounded as his butt hit the surface next to me. I watched as the glass smogged up a little and his body expanded against the the surface with his shirt slightly lifting in comfort.

It was THEN that I realized the design of the subway was excellent. Just thinking of how awful my life would've been for that moment if there wasn't the plastic/glass protecting me. If it were a perch without the glass or just a bar...I just don't want to think about it.

soo THANK YOU to whoever came up with that glass...you've saved us all.

Anyhoo the tube and buses were great for getting me to where I needed to go. I'm not gonna lie...i feel like a big deal now that I've conquered the public transportation system in London.